3 Simple Steps To Increase Your Confidence

Competence is the building block of confidence. 

Building your confidence is like building a brick house. You can’t build a brick house without putting one brick upon another. Same way you can’t build confidence without taking deliberate actions to gain new experience and achieve mastery.

When was the last time you felt inadequate? What went through your mind? 

Perhaps you think, “No matter how hard I try, I won’t succeed.” 

Perhaps you think when you have the confidence; then you’ll act?

I tell you the truth—confidence will never come when you wait!

Confidence comes from taking actions. When you step out of your comfort zone and start taking actions, you’ll gain new confidence. 

Do you know what is holding you back? It’s your own thinking!

Your self-sabotaging thoughts have stopped you from taking actions to achieve the success you want. You must stop those thoughts. 

So, what could you do to stop self-sabotaging thoughts?

There are a few things you can do…

1. Nurture your personal power

You are powerful. You may say, “No…not really…that’s not me.” That’s because you're constantly looking at your own flaws. You have unique strengths. Why don’t you stop looking at your flaws and start leveraging your personal strengths to achieve the things that only you can achieve? Do you know? You can even leverage your own shortcomings! How so? You can turn your flaws into learning points. Learn from your mistakes, move on, and build resilience. Also, everyone has flaws! Don’t compare your flaws with someone else's strengths! You are not a product of your own thoughts. Today, change the way you see yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. Celebrate both your strengths and flaws—because they make you real!

2. Develop a habit of self-compassion

Did it happen to you? Your loyal friends became your dream thieves? They’re not your fans when you stepped out of your comfort zone and accomplished something extraordinary. Don’t let this discourage you. You know some friends are there only for a season. You can’t go forward looking backward. You can be your own cheerleader. You can encourage yourself. Pat your back and say, “Good job. Well-done.” Cheer yourself on. Have compassion for yourself that no one can. 

3. Increase your emotional strength

Do you have a need to seek approvals from others? If so, you need to watch out! Because the naysayers will come to steal your dreams and sabotage your success. What’s more? They will eat away your personal power. Don’t let them do that! Take back your power. Say no to naysayers. They are not responsible for your success, but you are. You will become stronger when you say no.

After you take control of self-sabotaging thoughts, you can follow these three simple steps to increase your confidence. 

Step 1: Develop a new voice within you. Develop a habit of talking back to defeats and setbacks. Your past defeats and failures have a voice. You need to quiet that voice by practicing self-affirming talks. Also, you need to surround yourself with positive and like-minded people. Allow the new affirming voice to grow within you. Don’t beat yourself up when you don’t “feel” confident. Because your feeling does not determine your success, but your actions do. To become confident, you can choose to step out of your comfort zone and start doing things! “We have a strategic plan. It’s called doing things”. ~Founder and former CEO of Southwest Airlines, Herb Kelleher

Step 2: Practice. Practice. Practice. Practice saying yes and no. Say yes to your dreams. Say yes to your long-standing goals. Say yes to yourself. Say yes to keep your promises and priorities. Say yes to self-care. Say no to excuses. Say no to demands that are irrelevant for anything that matters. Say no to naysayers. Say no to dream thieves. Take back your control and power. You’ll become stronger and more confident. 

Step 3: Do more of what you love. When you become competent in something that you’re passionate about, you’ll gain new confidence. Let’s say you enjoy public speaking, endeavor to speak more. When you enjoy meditation, lead a meditation group practice. When you’re a good communicator, teach others how to communicate better. When you enjoy planning, volunteer to be the planner for the next community event. You’ll not only become more competent and confident, but you will also become happier and stronger. More importantly, you’ll become more and more of who you truly are. Leverage your strengths! Do more of what you love!

Final thoughts—

Psychologist and author, Larina Kase, says: “True confidence is not thinking that you’ll get a great result. It’s knowing that you can handle any result.” 

Take actions. 

Build competence. 

Make progress toward achieving goals. 

Do more of what you love. 

Leverage your strengths. 

Reveal the stronger, happy you!

Quick Bonus Tips: 

• Happy people are more confident. Get the 5 keys to happiness
• You can increase your confidence instantly by changing your body gesture. Check out this TED Talk by Amy Cuddy

What would you do to increase your confidence?

© 2021 Corinna Kong. All Rights Reserved.